When we are angry, the problem is with us, not with the others

There is the case of a man minding his own business, sitting quietly and at peace ; however, when a brother comes up and says an annoying word to him, he is put out by it. And, due to the circumstances, he thinks that he is justifiably angered, so he speaks out against the one who troubled him, saying, ‘If he had not come and spoken to me and annoyed me I should not have been at fault.’

This is a delusion: this is false reasoning! It was not the one who spoke that put him in a bad mood. That person merely showed that the anger already existed inside the outwardly peaceful looking man; so that he could, if he chose, to deal with his passion. But this man referred to above, is like clean-looking winter wheat, pleasing to the eye of the beholder, and seemingly ready for use; but when someone crushes it the corrupt and useless dust within it is revealed. So, there he was, sitting at peace but, unbeknownst to him, he had this anger inside him. One word to him from the other person and the corruption hidden within him erupted.

Based on Saint Dorotheos of Gaza

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